for the last couple of nights I've had these dreams (yea, that's right, I'mma tell you bout my dreams now, sosorry, need to purge) where I'm in an airport, and there are all these people I know, and some of whom I don't, all posing these distracting situations, and I have GOT to catch my plane. Like DESPERATELY trying to. They usually succeeed in distracting me because the situations are either totally bizarre or something that requires my immediate attention (like when no one was watching my kids run amuck). ...but at the last minute I realize I'm supposed to be catching an important flight, and get to the gate just in time to hop on. Here's the thing; I HATE flying. Absolutley terrified of it. So, the whole dream I'm fighting so hard to concentrate on getting myself to this goal that scares the crap out of me.
Well done, brain. You win at metaphors.

Poor, neglected journal. I turned my back on you in favour of cheap Facebook status updates, and at time when I probably needed you most!

I have grand intentions to pour my heart out onto paper but the opportunity just doesn't come.
Today. TODAY! I will acquire a real-life, made from trees, old school notebook. And get to scratchin'.

Oh my gosh! Piper just totally unannounced, went into the bathroom, took off her diaper and pooped on her potty!! I didn't have any idea she was even doing it until I heard "Mama, I did it" from the bathroom.
AND THEN while I was writing this post, Xander yells "Mommy, now she just tinkled in her potty!" AND SHE DID!! Totally unprovoked and unassisted. She's amazing. Xander says, "I'm so proud, I just want to dump her in my heart"

She is SO proud of herself. Eee!

Piper is currently sprawled out on the sofa listening to the Beatles on my mp3 player, with the hugest, sweetest smile on her face and the widest eyes. She's laying perfectly still, so long as the ear buds stay in. When a song ends she asks, "More Mommy, p'peez?" And then smiles again when another one starts.

Okay, she just started saying "no." ... "no." I wonder what she's answering. It's playing "Let it Be" LOL. Apparently she will not.

I've got to get out of the house today, out of my head.

Eric just called me, all shaken up. He saved someone's life about twenty minutes ago. One of the truck drivers collapsed in the warehouse, not breathing, no pulse. Eric did CPR for two minutes and the guy started blinking and coughing, just in time for the paramedics to arrive. Today is Eric's day off, he shouldn't have even been there.

In other news; I had... the BEST weekend. I'd like ten more please. Right now. I cannot seem to get my mind back into the real world, for the life of me.
Okay, maybe I'm not trying *that* hard.

Xander has his first psych appointment this afternoon, in Lincoln Park.

Annnnnd the kids are starting to take advantage of my absent-mindedness, so I'm off.

( cut to spare friends who do not share my olfactory obsessions :) )
Thanks for checking my swaps out!
last updated 7-9-9

When Piper is singing the alphabet she says "Abbaloo" for W. It's squidgy adorable. that is all :)

I am so lucky to be the mom of those two gorgeous kids I get to tuck in to bed every night. Gah. they just melt me. I WILL not be lazy tonight. I'm writing an entry!



We had a very low key birthday celebration for Miss Piper Jaymes tonight. Nana came over, and we were briefly joined by her grandma and grandpa and cousin Adam. She got some fabulous summer outfits as gifts, and her new most prized possession "Doe-wah Ahpboard!" which translates to Dora Surfboard (really it's a kick board, just like Xander's Cars "surfboard" ;) While my mum was outside with Xander and Roxie, Eric and I gave Piper a little Plex toy which she was totally excited about. "PWEX!!"
I made a tiny but delicious cake, we sang and then helped her when she got stage fright about blowing out her candle.

That little girl. Bah. What can I say? She is SO much person in such a tiny body. She just blows my mind with her grasp of the world. Her manners. Her empathy. Her LOVE. That girl can love! I knew she was my hippie baby when she flashed us that peace sign at her ultra sound. ♥
I also knew before her birth that she was going to be one saucy dame, and she hasn't let me down there either! She tries so hard to be independent. When we enter a new place, she is nervous, but she hides it as best as she can. Sometimes, it's too much and her straight mouthed look of "I can do this, I can do this, I'm brave" turns into a frown and the tears start. And it's the sweetest thing.

She sticks up for herself too. and how!

She remembers what people like, what our favourites are. She's quick to point out elephants to me "Look Mommy! A Empent!"

She loves to colour. and she draws "Sheekooos" (circles). She loves her froggie boots more than anything, and would very happily wear them (and ONLY them) all the time. she does not like to wear clothes. Or diapers. not for long anyway.

She likes robots and shoes, and hats and necklaces. She LOVES baths "Tobby Toime!" and copying her brother in every way possible. she has stolen my rainbow blanket and claimed it as her own. Each night at bed time she requests her "Ah-bot" and her "Eem-bows'. Once she has her robot and her rainbows, she says "Dank you, mommy", turns over to wait for her kiss and falls straight asleep. (most nights) Tonight she first requested that I clean the cake frosting off her sippy cup. "Oh no, mommy! Cake! Ewe" You want me to clean that off, honey? "Mmm Hmmm. Dank you, Mommy. Silly cake Hahahah"

She's funny. And she knows it!


Happy 2nd Birthday, Piper girl. I love you so much!!
I couldn't be more proud to be able to tell people that I'm your mommy xox

Forgive me while I girl it up a bit here. The Pyramid Collection catalog arrived in the post today, and I window whopped** my way to a whole new imaginary Summer wardrobe.

( It's just a job I heard of. Sounded pretty cool, you know? Buyer, buying, to buy... I like that. )
Apparently I will not be wearing pants, since I chose all tops, heh. Good thing anyway since this imaginary shop alone would run me 670 bucks, lol.

I'd also like to add to this 'dear universe, can I haz?" wishlist: one pair of the new sharp green coloured chuck taylors. low top. mens size five and a half. KTHX!


**it was a type-o too appropriate to fix.

Because people are LISTENING!

In case you hadn't heard... wravenmadd (henceforth referred to as Wine Girl #2) and I are intarweb-famous at the moment! It was bound to happen. XD



I'm totally serious too.

Thanks for finding that, Mel! Fifty points to the Hogwarts house of your choice!

Lobsters are neat.


That is all. :)

It is the middle of June, and I just had to put our heat on.

Today is Xander's very last day of preschool.
Yesterday, he picked out a plant and a pot from "the builder's store" for Miss Kristina (or "Mister Steena" as Xander says:). I'm going to write a thank-you card to her for being so supportive of us over the past year and three months. She really made it possible for me to feel comfortable bringing him back to school after the epilepsy came. And was so understanding when he was on the medication that turned him feral.
So today his class is having a little party, parents invited. Scott's coming over today (any minute now, actually) Xander is excited to have 'his friend Scott come to his school party!'

We also, official registered him for Kindergarten in September. Yipes.

This Summer is fast approaching and bringing with it a bursting events calender, as usual. We have at least one, often more, doctors appointments every week from now until August. Learning and Behaviour assessment at Illinois Masonic hospital, IEP learning assessment in Glenbrook (at Carolyn's office), 2 Neuro appointments (which I still need to schedule), Piper's well check up, Development and Behaviour screening at Children's Memorial, a handful of blood tests to make sure Xander's liver is doing it's job, and an MRI next month.
...oy.
Oh, and two birthday parties to plan.

Computer time has ended. So sayeth the mighty wee ones.

EDIT: Oh! And last night -for the first time- Piper stayed the whole night in her bed! Wooo wooo!

Anyone ever made fondant?

How'd it turn out? Was it difficult to do? Was it worth it?
OR
Have you ever used that premade fondant they sell in craft stores? I'm a little weirded out about buying that stuff for some reason.

I'm starting to plan Piper's birthday cupcakes (they are way more fun to make than one big cake, in my opinion). Exploring my decorating options :)

EDIT: I should say, since there are different fondant variations, that my plan would be to cut shapes out of it to put on top of the cupcakes, not to cover the cupcakes with it like an icing. :)

Right now, my daughter is lovingly cradling a doll and feeding it with her sippy cup. It's a Barack Obama bobble head. And she's calling it "Daddy".

Interesting. It was 28 degrees here May 21st in the year I was born. Today? 84.

Global Climate crisis or typical Chicago Spring? I'm too hot to care right now.
I'll just be happy I'm finally thawed out from that nasty Winter!

Also, my daughter calls Buddha "Buddy". I loves it.

My keyboards al borked. It makes tpin a big oldpain in the oterior.hch i sad because I have things i'd lke to sy! both in entresf my ownd in cmets to yours.

this post now resembles on f my texts. rod of applause if ou were ableto cpher thisone!


ugg.

Where to start...

I'll start at the happy. Caleigh flew in to surprise my mum for her 50th birthday party this weekend. It was Paul's present for her. It was awesome.
Sunday she spent the night and Carolyn and Scott came over and we watched many Boosh. Caleigh and I stayed up, responsibly making sure all the open wine bottles were emptied, until the morning birds informed us that maybe we should find some sleep.

Three hours later the kids stated our day. When we were getting Xander out of the tub, he had a drop seizure. And then another ten minutes later. After getting the kids ready we headed to Target to pick up some essentials, while I tried to figure out if Xander should go to school that afternoon. Caleigh agreed that he was not acting normally, so we got in the car to head home. Just as I sat down Xander says from his car seat "I don't know what's happening" and then he started convulsing. Full body, but able to maintain eye contact and sort of communicate. I think it best fits the description of a complex partial seizure, but it is odd that he stayed lucid. He fights them so hard.
When he was coming out of it, he started saying "This.. This is fun. This is fun! I'm wiggling" He said it was like he was on a ride. So strange. But he couldn't move his arm. He was picking it up with his other hand and just dropping it in his lap. So we headed for the Children's Memorial ER. He regained his arm after about ten minutes.

Not the best time to hang out in an ER these days. You can't keep a face mask on a 21 month old baby. Whatever though, swine flu doesn't make my top ten list of worries at this moment.

Caleigh's flight was due to leave at six, just to add an extra sprinkle of panic to the day.
Eric and my mum arrived, and thankfully figured out the logistics of getting Caleigh to the airport because I was useless. All available energy directed into keeping calm for the kids.
Xander then had another drop seizure in the bathroom.
Then there was a blur of doctors telling us that there was nothing they can do, and trying to send us home with a medication we are terrified of (depakote). Eric was eventually able to get Xander's neuro on the phone, and after a few minutes he said he would come to the hospital to talk to us. We are so happy to have this doctor.
We decided to start Depakote.
Getting it into him is new challenge.

So anyway, I left Xander and Eric in the ER and headed home with Piper. Eric called to say they were going to get the prescriptions filled on the way home, so I started dinner. Our regular pharmacy doesn't carry Depakote, and NO ONE caries the vitamin to go along with it to help avoid the liver damage hat depakote can cause. So, Eric dropped Xander back off at home to go to the pharmacy that DID have depakote. We had dinner, and Xander told me he was ready to snuggle in bed now, so I went to get him some jammies. When I came back he was leaning strangely near our fish tank saying something about the fish that I couldn't make sense of, when I got over to him he again said "I don't know what's happening". I grabbed him and laid him on the floor on his side, an his pupils grew HUGE so I knew we were in for a big one. Yea.
So, I tried to make sense of what time it was, how long to wait administer the emergency seizure medicine, how to WORK the medicine, all while Piper is climbing all over me and him because wee mommy and Xander are on the floor so it's play time!. Five minutes of full tonic clonic, grand mal convulsions, so I gave him he diastat. Eric called then and I told him what was going and an asked him to repeat for me like five times how long I needed to wait to administer a second dose, because the seizure was not letting up. Is it ten minutes from the start the seizure or ten minutes from the first dose?? Not wanting to overdose him on what is essentially valium, I waited while Eric called the ER on his way home. When he walked in the door Xander had slowed down, it was more of a full body flinch than convulsions. About fifteen minutes into the seizure at this point. That's a very long time to seize. Piper sat nxt to him and rubbed his hair "Y'okay Xanner?"
He still had some aftershock type tremors, but it was mostly over. So we change his pants which were wet from loss of bladder control, and his shirt which was soaked in drool and moved him to our bed.
We spoke to the neurologist on cal who gave us instructions for the rest of the night. Thankfully, there wasn't any further activity.
At this point he was soundly sleeping next to me an I felt like my bones were about to shoot out of my skin, so Eric brought me a Xanax and I fell asleep next to my boy.

This morning, Xander seems okay. Not as out of it as I would have expected. Having some temperment issues, but that's all so far.
I feel as though I've been run over by a truck. It takes so much to maintain a normal facade, and explain to a scared little boy that 'it's okay, your brain is just being silly, it's like a little brain hiccup, your arm will wake up, don't be scared, it's okay buddy" when in my head I'm screaming "OH my GOD why can't my son move his arm?? This isn't normal for a seizure! Please don't stop breathing..." all while trying to drive us safely to the hospital.